


Living Legend

by Edie_K



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28827453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edie_K/pseuds/Edie_K
Summary: During a night out with friends, Harry is confronted head on with his legacy as The Boy Who Blocks.
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	Living Legend

**Author's Note:**

> So, based off discussion of this awesome piece of art shared on the Romione Discord, I wrote a fic. It started as very tongue in cheek idea and ended with some heart. 
> 
> And a note - as Hermione alludes to in the end, our characters are imperfect narrators that may exaggerate in their recollections. So if you think the way they remembered something is wrong - maybe it is, maybe it isn't but it's how they remember it.

Harry entered the crowded pub and glanced around. He’d been held up almost an hour completing paperwork at the Ministry and anticipated he was the last one to arrive. It didn’t take long for him to focus on the boisterous group in the back and make his way towards the table with a grin. 

“Hey, there he is!” said George, with a raise of his glass. Assorted greetings joined in from the rest of the group. 

“Oi, thank God, you’re here Harry,” said Seamus. “These two,” he said, gesturing at Ron and Hermione, “are getting gross.” 

Hermione gave an indignant snort and Ron glared at Seamus but he was smirking. Harry laughed as he dropped into the empty seat next to Ginny and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He glanced around the table at the crew - George, Angelina, and Luna were already seated at the other end and Dean was plopping down on the other side of Ron, next to Parvati. There was still an empty seat with a half drank glass in front of it and glancing around the room, he spotted Neville at the bar. He gratefully accepted the mug his girlfriend had slid in front of him. “And what do you expect me to do about the two of them?” he asked, as he took a swig of his drink. 

“Break out some of that cockblocking magic you’re famous for,” said Seamus. The entire table burst into laughter. Harry was so shocked that he momentarily choked. 

“Honestly Seamus!” said Hermione, although she looked much more amused by the comment than Harry would have expected. 

“What in Merlin’s name are you talking about?” Harry asked. 

“Do you not know what cockblocking is? The term seems pretty self explanatory but it’s when-” 

“I know what it means, Seamus,” growled Harry.”I just don’t know what you mean.” 

“I believe that’s his colorful way of talking about the fact that you were the main obstacle preventing Ron from progressing beyond friends with Hermione,” suggested Dean. 

“Uh, in the name of gender equality, he was also the main obstacle preventing Hermione from making a move on Ron,” said Parvati. Dean tipped his drink in her direction in agreement. 

“Human birth control, if you will,” suggested George. 

“The opposite of an aphrodisiac for the two of them, if that’s a thing,” said Ginny. Harry gaped at her, startled by the comment. 

“It is, it’s called an anaphrodisiac,” Hermione supplied. 

“Oh, that’s interesting. What things are considered anaphrodisiac?” asked Angelina. 

“Alcohol, right?” said Dean. 

“Not in my experience,” said Seamus, wagging his eyebrows. 

“That’s not what Cara Johnson told Padma,” said Parvati, rolling her eyes. 

“Alcohol and tobacco and some other elements that go into pain relieving medications and potions. There was also recently a study around licorice of all things.” 

“Red or black?” asked Neville, who had just returned from the bar with a fresh pitcher. 

“Hmm,” said George thoughtfully. “Licorice wands but droopy. There’s a Wheeze in there somewhere.” 

“Dabberblimps are also said to have an impact on sexual desire but I think that’s more due to the smell,” pondered Luna. 

“No, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait,” said Harry, completely aghast. “Are you all saying that it was my fault that it took Ron and Hermione two years to get together?” 

“Look, Harry, no one should be saying you were the main obstacle in keeping us apart. Hermione and I certainly could have done more to rise above it,” said Ron in what he apparently thought was a consoling tone. 

“Honestly, everyone at this table could have done more,” said Neville, gesturing to the group, who nodded in agreement. 

“But it is fair to say that Harry carries most of the blame,” said Seamus. 

“Outside of Ron and I,” Hermione clarified. 

“This is unbelievable,” said Harry. 

“Look, Hermione and I have talked about it and there’s no hard feelings. It all worked out in the end.” 

“You’ve talked about this?!” Ron shrugged. “Hermione,” Harry turned to his friend with a pleading tone. “You are the most rational person I know. You can’t seriously agree with this?” 

“I pluck up the courage to ask Ron out and you created as much noise as possible and practically threw a bowl across the room before I could clarify it was a date.” 

“It was awkward!” 

“Are you saying we’ve never done anything awkward for your sake?” Ron chuckled. 

“No but… come on, it was obvious that was a date!” 

“I told you I thought she asked me as a friend and you never said anything!” 

“Wait,” said Angelina. “Harry, there was a misunderstanding between them that you knew about and you didn’t say anything to clear it up?” 

“It was awkward!” 

“Not only that,” said Hermione. “I asked him why Ron was angry with me so I could fix it and he knew why but he didn’t tell me.” 

“It… was awkward,” said Harry weakly. “And! And! The reason Ron was angry with you was ridiculous. You had snogged Krum two year ago. I didn’t want to make him look stupid.”

“Yeah,” said Ron dryly. “You really kept me from looking like an idiot in sixth year. Cheers.” 

“I’m sorry,” Parvati said, shaking her head in disbelief. “Are you saying that if Harry had one awkward conversation, we would have avoided the entire debacle that was Lavender and Ron?” 

“Yes,” said Hermione. 

“Pretty much,” said Ron. 

Parvati turned to Harry. “Potter, there are hours, days, WEEKS of my life that I will never get back that I spent dealing with that nightmare.” 

“What, do you think it was a picnic for me?!” Harry asked.

“No! That makes it worse!” cried Parvati. 

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” exploded Harry. “Just go up to Hermione and say, ‘Ron is jealous as hell that you kissed Victor Krum You should go talk to him and get this sorted before Slughorn’s party’?”

“YES!” shouted the entire table. 

Harry noticed that Ginny had joined the chorus and rounded on her. “What about you? You could have stepped in just as well as I could have!” 

“I was mad at Ron and for good reason!” she retorted. “But yes, I could have done more. I’ll admit, part of it was that up until the point that you kissed me, I was a little worried that you were keeping them apart because you had a thing for Hermione. I was worried that if I helped get the two of them together, you would totally spiral.”

“I thought that was why you were doing it too,” said Dean. 

“You did?” said Ginny with a smile. “You never told me that. I guess we were pretty compatible back then.”

“Hey! Am I not getting dealt enough blows?” said Harry indignantly and the table laughed. 

“Harry was never interested in Hermione,” said Luna in a matter of fact tone. “I did suspect he fancied Ron though.”

“Wha- okay, Luna, no,” Harry sputtered. “So I’m apparently responsible for the dumbest fight the two of you ever had but-” 

“Not responsible for the fight but you showed a lack of accountability in resolving it,” clarified Hermione. 

“Fine. So why didn’t you get together after Ron and Lavender broke up? You didn’t kiss until the final battle. How was that my fault?” 

“Didn’t Ron tell us Harry tried to break up that kiss too with some sort of snide comment?” George asked Angelina. 

“Snide comment?” Harry asked disbelievingly. “I reminded them that there was a war going on. THERE WAS LITERALLY A WAR GOING ON!” 

“The kiss was coming to a natural conclusion,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes. 

“So that was really the first time you two kissed?” asked Dean. “Because when we uh, met up that spring, it seemed like something was going on.” 

“Well, we certainly made some progress to understanding we were on the same page,” said Hermione. “But things were complicated.”

“It was miserable and it really would have been pretty awkward to start something with Harry around all the time,” said Ron.

“Good call,” said George. “After tonight, I think we all know that Harry’s boggart takes the form of awkward interactions.” 

“At the point we found Dean and Luna, we both knew it was inevitable but we also had to finish helping Harry,” said Hermione. 

“Plus, you want to talk cockblock? Harry has nothing on Griphook,” said Ron. Dean nodded sagely and Hermione wrinkled her nose in agreement. 

“Finished helping me? You weren’t picking up my dry cleaning, we were saving the world!” 

“Harry, you are taking this way too personally,” said Hermione. “We don’t think you were truly trying to keep us apart but your desire to stay out of our relationship and your mild self absorption caused a lot of complications.” 

“I don’t know why someone would take being called self absorbed personally,” George remarked and Ginny snorted. 

“Hermione, you don’t get it. You’re letting him off the hook too easily because you’re a woman. A man does not prevent a friend from getting laid. It’s basically an Unbreakable Vow that’s entrenched in our DNA,” said Seamus. 

“Ugh,” scoffed Parvati. “I honestly don’t know why we hang out with you.” 

“No, really,” insisted Seamus. “Take tonight as an example. Dean and Neville. You two are solid mates, yeah?” Both men nodded. “Right, so Dean goes up to the bar to get a new pitcher. Who comes up to wait on him but Hannah Abbott. Suddenly, Neville needs a glass of water. And what happens next?” 

Neville turned red. “I uh, I went up to the bar to ask Hannah for a glass while she was waiting on Dean.” 

“And as soon as Neville appears and starts talking to Hannah, I gave him a nudge and say ‘I have to hit the head. Can you bring that back to the table?’”

Harry scoffed. “How does you sticking Neville with the tab help him?” 

“You never did read that book I gave you, did you?” said Ron, incredulously. 

“I didn’t take a piss, Potter," said Dean. "I came back to the table so Neville could chat up Hannah. And?” 

Neville gave an embarrassed smile. “I’m taking her out tomorrow,” he admitted. 

“Ha!” Seamus punched the air triumphantly. “One friend getting another friend laid. It’s beautiful.” 

“It’s a first date,” Neville protested. “We’re not going to-” 

“We’ll work on it,” Seamus assured him. 

“Ron’s never tried to get me laid!” Harry shouted desperately. This comment was met with general revulsion. 

“Whoa! Come on,” said Dean, his face contorted. 

“That’s his _sister_ ,” said Neville. 

“For fuck’s sake man,” said Seamus disgustedly. The idea that Seamus was disgusted with him made Harry even more defensive. 

“Hermione is like my sister!” insisted Harry. 

“To be fair to Ron and it pains me to do so,” said Ginny. “Ron really only got in our way that one time after we broke up and as pissed as I was at the time, I think it came from a genuinely good place.”

“And I had no idea you liked Ginny until you snogged her right in front of me!” said Ron. 

“You never said anything about Hermione until we were in the woods!’ 

“Oh, Harry, really?” said Ginny with pity. “I don’t think that’s the way to go.” 

“Yeah, okay, but - hey, what about that one time with Cho?” Harry said accusingly to Ron. 

“I called Cho out for being a bandwagon fan one time when I was 15 and now I’m doomed to a life of interrupted shags,” Ron appealed to the room. 

“You’re together now,” said Harry weakly. 

“Despite your best efforts,” joked George. 

“And yet you haven’t relinquished your title as The Boy Who Blocked,” said Ron. 

“You do have extraordinarily bad timing,” said Hermione.

“Back to Seamus’s original point, you two are pretty gross,” said George.

“I’m sorry, are you saying that I still am-” 

“In a much more literal sense now,” said Ron. Hermione gave him a playful smack on the chest. 

“Give me an example!” Harry insisted heatedly. 

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look that was familiar to Harry but he couldn't quite place. “Harry, it really isn’t a big deal,” said Hermione reassuringly. 

“Well, last weekend, right?” said George. “At Shell Cottage for Fleur’s birthday. You wanted to get Ron so he could try those beignets Gabrielle brought and we told you they would be back soon but you insisted on walking down the beach and…” 

“Yeah, and I found them past the alcove and - wait,” Harry stopped suddenly. “Is that why you were-?” Harry made a gesture too vague to interpret but Hermione squirmed in her chair and Ron inhaled sharply. 

Harry’s jaw dropped. “And last month when Ginny and I were over to listen to the Cannons’ match and you were so weird when I came in the kitchen to see why the snacks were taking so long…and Thursday? Hermione is that why you…” He trailed off as Hermione bit her lip and looked away while Ron rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Oh my God,” said Harry incredulously. 

“Harry, we’re so sorry if we made you uncomfortable,” said Hermione, sounding sincere for the first time all night. 

“Oh my God!” Harry repeated louder, this time, disgusted.

“We were making up for lost time, which you have a part in,” Ron pointed out. 

“Oh my God,” Harry said a third time, his tone full of realization.

“Are you okay Harry?” asked Ginny gently. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said distractedly. A quiet set over the group within the roaring pub. 

“So Neville,” said Angelina in a voice full of forced cheer. “Where are you taking Hannah tomorrow?” 

“Oh, you should take her to this great new place in Hogsmeade. Padma and I had lunch there last week and the dinner menu looks amazing,” Parvati said. 

Harry looked glumly at his drink, barely noticing the glances his two best friends were exchanging. 

* * *

“Harry?” came a familiar voice from the fireplace. 

It was the next morning. Ginny was off to practice and would be staying the evening with her team, as she did the day prior to every match. The standing tradition was that on these days, he had lunch with Ron and Hermione. As much as he loved Ginny and knew that Ron and Hermione did too, he liked having time as just the three of them. 

But he had cancelled this morning, citing a hangover and crossed his fingers that Ron would be able to persuade Hermione to leave him be. 

No such luck. 

He heard a whoosh, followed by a second. “Harry?” 

He sighed. “In here,” he called quietly from his armchair. Both of his friends popped around the corner. “Couldn’t hold her off?” 

Ron sank into the chair across from him, threw his legs on the ottoman and grinned. “Actually, I didn’t even try.” 

Hermione tapped Ron’s feet and he scooted them over to give her enough room to sit on the ottoman. “Harry, why are you avoiding us?” 

“‘m not,” he mumbled. “Just drank too much last night.” 

“You got there after everyone else so you missed the first two rounds of shots Seamus forced on us and I only saw you refill your glass once.” 

Harry shrugged. “I had a couple drinks when I got home.” 

“Look, we didn’t mean to upset you. Like Hermione said, we had a few before you got there and we were just having a go,” said Ron. 

“Yeah but it was true,” said Harry sullenly. 

“Well,” said Hermione, flattening her skirt nervously. “Yes, all of those things happened. But it was a long time ago. We’ve been together almost three years now. And we were certainly exaggerating a bit to have some fun. So there’s nothing for you to be upset about.”

Harry straightened up in his chair. “You don’t get it! Since I started at Hogwarts, you two have been the most important people in my life and besides Ginny and Teddy, you still are. And you cared about me and you two always tried to do what you thought was going to help me and be best for me and last night I realized...I didn’t do that for you!” 

“Harry, you know that’s not true!” said Hermione. 

“Yes it is! I thought about how Cho and I couldn’t even look at each other anymore and I didn’t want that to happen to you two. It was always best when it was the three of us and I didn’t want anything to mess that. You were right, I was so self absorbed!” 

“Harry, listen,” Ron started. 

“Of course you were,” interrupted Hermione. 

“Okay, _now_ I am regretting letting you come over here,” said Ron. 

“We all were!” she said, rolling her eyes. “Harry, the two of us were so wrapped up in our own drama sixth year that we didn’t realize the depth of your fixation with Malfoy until you had practically murdered him!” 

“Well, whose fault is that? There would have been no drama had I said something! And all our friends think I didn’t say something because I was in love with Hermione. I mean, you must have thought that too,” Harry said miserably, gesturing to Ron. 

“I never really thought you were interested in Hermione but I was terrified Hermione would fall for you,” said Ron.

“What’s wrong with me that you didn’t think Harry would be interested?” said Hermione in a teasing tone that was clearly meant to lighten the mood, flicking Ron’s foot. 

“Absolutely nothing. This git doesn’t know what he's missing, thank God.” 

Harry ignored their flirting. “Had we cleared that up the year before, we could have avoided a few devastating weeks during the hunt, yeah?” 

“Harry, there’s no way I’m letting you take responsibility for what the Horcrux said or for me leaving you two,” Ron said. 

“We’re certainly not relitigating any of that,” said Hermione. She turned and looked at Ron. “But when we were discussing all of this at home last night, we both agreed that once we were on the run, we made conscious decisions to not start anything until the war was complete.” 

Ron nodded. “It’s true, I felt the same.” 

“Great, I did it again,” Harry moaned. “You two were worried about me last night instead of enjoying your evening.”

“Harry, we still enjoyed our evening-” 

“Twice,” interrupted Ron. 

“But you’re our friend and we are always going to worry about you,” Hermione finished, paying Ron no mind. “It actually made me realize that we maybe could have had a relationship and taken care of you.” 

Harry groaned.

“Harry, you took care of us too,” Ron said. “I mean, in the end, you didn’t want Hermione and I to stop being friends because you knew that would make us just as miserable as you. And you weren’t wrong. I don’t know, maybe this was all just the way it was supposed to be. Maybe Hermione and I are better because we got all the petty shit out before we were together. Maybe the three of us are better friends because we focused on that for so long. So we’re okay, if you’re okay.” 

Harry sat silently for a moment. “I’m going to try to be better about the... you know, blocking. But seriously, I know we have a bit of a don’t ask, don’t tell on the subject but you could have clued me in,” Harry complained to Ron. 

“Fair enough,” laughed Ron. 

“Or you could not shag at parties,” Harry suggested. 

“Just… if you suddenly don’t see us, wait at least 10 minutes before you come and look for us,” responded Hermione. 

“Oi! 10 minutes?” said Ron, offended. 

“Harry,” Hermione sighed. “It is apparently very important for you to know that Ron satisfies me sexually.” 

“I assumed that once I figured out you were willing to do _that_ for him _there_ on Thursday,” Harry said. 

Hermione blushed. “You’re making that sound much worse than it was. And you keep biting your tongue!” she said to Ron, pulling her legs up and shifting back so she was sitting in the chair next to him. 

“I wasn't going to say anything!” Ron insisted, although he looked very pleased with himself. “Now, can we please go get lunch?” 

“All right, you two figure out where to eat. Give me 10 minutes and we’ll go,” Harry laughed, standing up from his chair. 

“Harry, have you learned nothing? Make it 20,” said Ron. 


End file.
